


Of Nightmares and Lily Doodles

by myshipsdontsail



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Sad Harry, With A Twist, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myshipsdontsail/pseuds/myshipsdontsail
Summary: Harry's had this same dream 14 times and its somehow worse than the rest. Harry looks so tired, Draco thinks. Too tired for a 16 year old. Tired like the world has disappointed him.(It has)Or: The one where Draco sees Harry's dreams, Harry can't stop having nightmares, and Draco is brave enough to help.





	Of Nightmares and Lily Doodles

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's literally 2 am. Please send me some sleep. I hope you like this? It's pretty corny.

This is the 14th time that Harry's had this dream, and Draco is getting tired of it. 

For as long as he can remember, Draco Malfoy has seen the dreams of Harry Potter. Of course he didn't know that was what was happening, at first. But later on, after the end of first year, Draco kept having nightmares about Harry's battle with Quirrel, and he figured it out.

Draco wishes he'd figured it out sooner, so he could go back. He sees Harry's dreams and knows too much about him not to want to change things, to want to help. Really, he just wants to be there for Harry. He wants to be his friend. 

Harry's had this same dream 14 times and its somehow worse than the rest.

Its worse than the Dursley's, worse than Quirrel, than the basilisk, than tom riddle, than Cedric or Sirius dying. 

At least Harry seemed alive in those. 

In this dream, for the 14th time, Harry's sitting on a rock in the middle of a field that stretches for eternity, rain down-pouring on him. The cold is absolutely unbearable for Draco, but Harry doesn't even twitch. He's always back to Draco. Draco doesn't know if this Dream-Harry can see him, so he never goes around. 

The worst part of this dream, though, isn't how Harry's head is downcast, his posture screaming a lack of self confidence, or the frigid air and cold rain. No, its the backtrack of every bad thing anyone's ever said to Harry, and his responses that are the worst. Harry listens to Vernon Dursley tell him hes a waste of space, and Harry agrees, apologizes. He listens to Marge call him ungrateful and he agrees once more. Draco hears himself call potter Scarhead, and not special. Harry agrees. He hears the voices of Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, and so many more call Harry less than enough.

And for the 14th time, Harry agrees. 

And for the 14th time, Draco doesn't. 

-

Draco wakes up, the dream ending just as it always does, abruptly. He gets out of bed and heads to breakfast as soon as possible. 

He hates thinking of that stupid dream. 

-

He knows that maybe he should worry, and maybe tell someone that he doesn't have his own dreams. He's just never had one, but he sees Harry's all the time. Well not all the time. Harry doesn't sleep much, and if Harry doesn't sleep, Draco doesn't dream. 

Draco thinks that maybe Harry knows he's there. Probably, he doesn't realize that Draco isn't just a part of the dreams. He shakes his head when Blaise asks him if he's going to eat or just sit there and stare. 

-

At the tail end of breakfast, Potter walks in with a smile on his face but a shiver. Just like he always does. And Harry looks Draco in the eyes, like he knows. Harry shivers again, and Draco feels the cold deep in his bones.

Draco doesn't have any dreams the next two nights, and no matter how many blankets he uses he can't seem to get warm again.

-

Harry looks so tired, Draco thinks. Too tired for a 16 year old. Tired like the world has disappointed him. 

(It has)

-

Its on the third day after that Harry sleeps again.

It's the fifteenth time that Harry's had this dream, and Draco is getting tired of it. 

Harry's sitting on that same rock, in that same field, for the fifteenth god damned time. 

Harry punishes himself in this stupid dream for the fifteenth time, and Draco cries.

He cries and just as he's taking a step forward, arm reaching forward, too desperate than should be allowed, to do anything to get him to stop, Harry turns his head to the rain clouds and lets out an aching scream. 

It's not the first time the dream has ended this way, but Draco hears the scream for the rest of the week, even if Harry is spared of it by the bouts of Dreamless Sleep Draco "dropped" into his bag. 

He doesn't feel guilty at all.

-

Between it all, he's been spending far to much time thinking about Harry's dreams than real life, and when Harry and Draco get paired for a potions project he realizes he should have seen this coming.

Harry asks him why he's been so, for lack of a less sickening term, nice all of a sudden.

Draco just says that he hasn't been sleeping well, looking Harry in the eye as he does. 

Harry turns away. 

Draco thinks he hears a muttered "I'm sorry." 

Draco smashes the beetle he'd been cutting and doesn't even notice the gash he'd cut into his index finger, he's so angry.

Not at Harry, but at the fact that this is happening to him.

Never at Harry. Not anymore.

-

That night, Harry dreams that he and Draco are friends, and it's beautiful. Until Harry reveals his muggle family's treatment of him, to which Harry's "Draco" spurns him and tells him he deserved it.

The next day, Draco makes sure Potter can hear his spiel about pureblood parents abusing children and how no child - he even whispers mudbloods - deserves to be mistreated.

He thinks he sees Harry smile, but it could just be the lighting.

-

Two days later, and Draco notices a bandaid on Harry's finger. The same spot as where Draco had cut his finger. 

No, this weird bond they had -  
It couldn't work both ways separately could it?

Draco deliberately slices his thumb, later, and another bandaid has popped on potter in magically the same place.

Huh.

Draco draws stars on his hands just to see badly wiped ink smudges on Potters. 

So they both knew, then.

Harry dreams of rejection from Draco again, and it's hurting Draco.

He wouldn't say these things, and he thinks Harry knows it.

It's just all Harry's ever known.

Draco crushes another beetle.

-

Harry sits up, sweaty from his dream, and coughs. 

As he brings his arm to his face to cover his cough, he sees blue ink on his arm. 

I would never say those things. 

What? Harry knew he had some weird unrequited magic bond with Draco, but it seemed Draco had never noticed, so why was he writing on his own skin? Why this?

In your dream. I see them. Your dreams. And you get my scars and marks in return.

Harry thinks about every bad dream he's ever had and instantly feels sorry. 

He tries writing back, a scrawled I'm really sorry you have to see them too, but of course Draco doesn't get it. 

Why isn't it easier?

Draco writes once more to him before he falls under again.

I hate the dreams but I don't hate you. 

I'm sorry. 

-

This is the sixteenth time Harry's had this dream, and Draco can't stand it anymore. 

For the sixteenth time, Harry listens to a backtrack of all the things he's been called, all his failures, the misplaced blame. He listens to himself shout "It's your fault!" Over and over, but instead of responding, Harry's body shakes. Draco doesn't understand, but he doesn't care. Harry already knows he's here. 

This is the sixteenth time Harry's had this dream, and Draco swears it will be the last. 

Harry's body is shaking. But he's not cold, and he probably is scared, but he's shaking because he's crying. 

This is the sixteenth time Harry's had this dream, but it's the first time it's ever brought him to tears.

He sees Draco, and he says, "I'm sorry."

Draco shakes his head. 

He wakes up with tears soaking his face. 

-

Harry isn't okay, but that's okay. 

He's a cocktail made of sadness and regret, but there are good parts too.

He's got plenty of love in his heart. He's got a mischievous nature and he's brave and a fierce and loyal friend. And of course, he's ambitious, but he likes to forget that one.

He's got good and bad. But he kind of wishes they didn't alternate based on the time of day.

He's just sick of all these nightmares.

-

Draco wakes up and begins to write. 

Meet me in the entrance hall before breakfast. I need to talk to you. By the way - just for the record, I don't think you're just an "annoying scarhead that couldn't die" and you're definitely special. To a lot of people. I mean, to me at least.

And he doesn't know when he got this sappy - or this fond of Potter - but it happened somewhere in between the nightmares where he saw Harry's past, his greatest fears and sadness, and the dreams, where he saw Harry's hopes, memories, and wishes. (And maybe the dreams of them being friends or something more helped).

He can't just let him suffer.

He can't do nothing. He already tried that, and his hand was forced anyway.

Besides, he thinks he knows what their connection means.

-

Harry wakes to words written across his left hand. 

He's nervous but he's in Gryffindor for a reason.

(He ignores the voice that tells him he's supposed to be Slytherin.)

-

"I'm so-" Harry goes to say.

"Don't." Draco says instead.

Harry furrows his brows and stays silent. Draco sits next to him, and it's nice. They should be in class, but they aren't, and neither of them even really think about trudging to potions. Slughorn can wait.

"You must know so much, about me." Harry says, later.

"Yes." Draco says. "Too much. Too much." He lets out a breath.

Harry wants to apologize again. He doesn't.

He opts to grab Draco's hand and squeeze it instead, and when Draco looks up, surprised, Harry's looking at the wall. 

He's not happy, but he doesn't look sad either.

Just, tired.

-

Harry dreams. He dreams of Voldemort, Sirius, Mr. Weasley, Quirrell, basilisks, Tom Riddle, and the days when Draco Malfoy used to spit insults in his face.

But those - those are just nightmares. They cannot shine even a dimly lit candle at the real dreams he has. 

And he's not having that awful dream anymore. It's been three weeks, and Harry hasn't seen the 17th time. 

Harry's still - well he's really not okay. He dreams, he has nightmares, and Draco sees them all. 

But now they're friends, and that makes a world of difference.

Harry has nightmares, but now, he wakes up to elegant scrawl on his left wrist detailing all the ways in which these dreams can't hurt him, encouraging words, and drawings of stars and, sometimes, lilies. 

Harry can't thank him enough.

So no, he's really not okay, but he's got someone to talk to now, and he hasn't had any of the really awful dreams in these three weeks.

Draco and Harry hold hands under the table in Transfiguration sometimes, everyone notices but no one is brave enough to comment.

-

Harry kisses Draco in the spur of the moment, without even realizing, Oh, I'm in love with Draco, until he was here.

Draco had been telling Harry - "What an utter twat you are Harry, of course Hermione is smarter than me, honestly, I thank you for your praise, really, it so good to know you care but I -"

And Harry had just - just gripped his jaw and planted a kiss on his lips, all the while his own brain screaming what the fuck are you doing at him, only to realize.

Harry loved this utter twat.

Draco blinked his eyes, adjusting, while Harry seemed to be entranced in horror at himself. What had he done?

Draco cleared his throat, and Harry looked like he'd been caught and was ready for a death sentence.

Draco only smiled, called him a twat some more, and held his hand on the way out.

I'm in love with you. Draco wrote on the back of his left hand. 

It was a little hard to read over Umbridges nasty scar, but once Harry did, he beamed.

Harry dreams of days with Draco, them getting a dog together, naming it Snuffles in honor of Sirius. He dreams of going to the beach, and holding Draco's hand, and he screams "I love you, Draco Malfoy," off a cliff and he kisses him, only to realize that wow, this is the real Draco. 

There's no dream Draco, it's just him.

And when he wakes up to Draco's words of sarcasm on his leg, noting how much of a romantic sap he is (honestly potter), he definitely does not blush, and definitely does not feel his heart swell at the lilies blossoming there and the small, almost unnoticeable "I love you too," written on the inside of his left ring finger.

-

It's the 14th time that Harry a d Draco have kissed, and Draco doesn't think he'll ever get tired of it. 

Harry's still not okay, but he's getting there. Draco is with him every step of the way. 

It's hard, and they fight sometimes, but nobody can say they aren't meant for each other.

It's the 14th time they've kissed, but it's honestly the thousandth time that Draco has thought, "This is the man I love," in his head.

Harry dreams, and Draco is there. Draco hurts, and Harry takes his pain. 

Harry's still tired. But never so tired that he looks as though the world has disappointed him.

(It has.)

Just not about this. 

 

<3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope that you like it :)


End file.
